Blisters & callouses

What is it about digging up dandelions that brings about blisters on one’s hands?

I wore gloves. The ground was soft in most places. I still have this sore red spot on the palm of my right hand. The sky sprinkled a little rain on me yesterday afternoon as I tugged and dug down deep to get to the heart of the roots without pulling up the viable plants around them. It amazed me that those roots were so thick and long…most of them just got broken off. Some of the weeds were the size of dinner plates, and I had to get them before they go to seed. So, I’m sure I’ll still be spraying weed-b-gone on them soon. Just waiting for a warm sunny day to let it really soak down and get to them.

Our to-do list is getting longer. Company is coming this weekend, and we’d like time to entertain and enjoy their company. Actually, it’s family who’s coming over…and there’s always just a little hesitation when someone so close, but so far away comes to visit. I talk to my mom 2-3 times a day by phone, and then get to see her at least once or twice a week, sometimes more when she’s supervising the 10-yr-old on a day away from school. I’m not concerned about her. She’s the one who loves me no matter what. She has strong opinions, and I can usually never keep up with her expectations, but I don’t fret about it anymore, because of our relationship. We help each other out, and keep each other honest. We’ve talked through some difficult issues, and let each other into some tender places of hurt and joy. She’s not the family I’m concerned about.

I don’t get to see my dad that much. He and mom divorced just after I graduated from college. He lives on the road in an RV, and spends his winters in the southern states, mostly Texas. He’s coming north this week. I called him on his milestone birthday last week, and wondered when he’d stop by to see our new house. He said he was ready to start driving, and that it takes 5-7 days. He called this morning from Kansas and said he’s hoping to be to our place by Saturday sometime. It’ll be so good to see him. He doesn’t expect much, he’s pretty laid back in most ways, and understands how to love people in their mistakes. I’ve forgiven him for the pain he brought to the family, and I hope he’s forgiven me for my youth. In the past few years, I believe he’s beginning to understand how I feel about family, and how being a parent to my two kids has changed me. I’m not the little kid with the braces anymore, or the rebellious teenager of my youth. I think I know who I am. Our relationship in these few years is growing sweeter and deeper, although still not as regularly fed as my relationship with mom. It’s good to come to grips with my childhood.

I’m someone with a few more blisters now. The callouses are from hard work, and continuous work with tools that groom and shape the relationships that I have, and the person I want to be. They don’t go away as quickly as blisters, but they also aren’t as painful either. They are the hardened scars of skin that has been worked, used, and toughened up by intensely loving others. They still need care, so as not to cause discomfort or rub someone the wrong way. Salve or cream doesn’t heal a blister, but softens a callous, with tenderness and gentleness, and kindness. Only time heals blisters. And so, with more digging and working, that section of my hand where the blister currently lives may become a callous, or just find time to heal. It’ll be interesting to find out as I work some more in the yard.